Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thoughts for Thursday

Wow it's been a few weeks since I have done this...let's see....topic, topic what should I pick as a topic?

True Friendship

It seems that it has become a heated topic on a board I belong to...friendship and what it means to be a friend.

So as a little experiment here lets ask the following (feel free to copy and past your answers as a comment or onto your own blog and link it in my comment section):

1. Is friendship selfless or is it a two way street? Example...should you put forth your friendship wholeheartedly and not expect that person to do the same?

2. Do you think that a friend should back you up even if they don't think what you are doing is a good idea?

3. What do you expect from your close friends? (nutshell)

4. What should those friends expect from you? (nutshell)

5. If someone was in self destruct mode and you offered genuine, legit help over and over for a long time and no attempt to try to better the situation was made...would you go the tough love route or would you continue to coddle the person and bite your tongue? Self destruct could be a variety of things....depression, drugs, alcohol etc

6. If you yourself were in self destruct mode for a long time, would you want the truth or smoke?

7. Do you think that it is a total betrayal of friendship if someone doesn't coddle your feelings? Like if someone really pissed you off by telling you the truth...would you be able to get over it?

3 comments:

Leslie said...

1. I think friendships are a two way street. Why should one person work harder at keeping the friendship going than the other.

2. No I don't think a friend should enable me to do things I shouldn't. If they disagree with what I'm doing or going to do then a true friend speaks up and tells me. In the end it is up to me to listen, but a friend should never be afraid to help another.

3. I expect my friends to be there for me to listen and help when I need them. But not to continually to take my crap or negativity if that's all I ever seem to do. I expect my friends to help make smile and laugh. To share some of my interests and beliefs but not all...we have to have some variety and spice to our lives.

4. I would expect my friends to want the same things from me as I want from them.

5. If after a period of time my love and understanding wasn't helping then I'd try the tough love route. If they cannot see past whatever it is that is dragging them down to change it and continually seek me to lay their drama on then I would do the hard thing and cut them out of my life at that point. I have had to do that on a few occasions and it hurt me deeply to do so. But in the end these people found their happy again and slowly we found our friendships again. It wasn't the same and we all knew it. I cannot take on someone else's drama and a true friend wouldn't ask me to. IMO if a friend didn't understand why I couldn't always coddle them and got mad about it then they were never my true friend. I wouldn't want to be treated that way.

6. Maybe part of me would want the smoke for a while, but realistically the truth is the best eventually.

7. If I was in a super bitch mode and couldn't see past my own nose then yes I would consider that a bad thing that I wasn't coddled. But as I said realistically the truth is best, and knowing the person I am I would eventually see what they were telling me was the best and would forgive them and keep moving forward.

Nancyroo said...

Answered on my blog.

Cheri Pryor said...

1. I think friendship is a two way street....but true friendship is strong and lasting when BOTH give wholeheartedly.

2. No. I would expect my friend to figure out a way to tell me that what I was doing was a bad idea and hopefully guide me AWAY from it.

3. Honesty, loyalty, trust...and laughter.

4. Honesty, loyalty, trust...and laughter. =)

5. I try to be diplomatic about helping people see their self-destructive behavior. Christy calls that passive-aggressive. lol! I hate to see people unhappy and I hate to hurt feelings. If talking and talking and talking just doesn't work, then it's time to be tough. It sucks because you know it's going to emotionally hurt, but sometimes the hurt from self-destruct mode is far greater. I always have the desire to do as much as I can to keep that from happening.

6. Please see my answer to number 3.....but I would hope that the individual would know me well enough that they would know HOW to tell me in a way that I would be receptive and not defensive.

7. I don't think it is betrayal. I think it's honest....and again, that would be part of number 3. lol!